[Author's Note: Sorry Mr. Johnson, but it's another creeper thingy. I was planning on posting this anyways, though, so I guess I'm a creeper either way. This is a creepy song I wrote for a part in a creepy story that I ended up scraping because it was stupid. I liked the song though, and I liked the character who sings it even though he's an insane killer (I said it was a creepy story didn't I?), so I might incorporate them into another story. See if you can figure out what the symbolism is and what the song means. If you want to know more about the story, I'll tell you, but I probably won't post it here because, like I said, I scrapped it, and I don't think it's something I could post to a school blog.]
What do you do when the shadows come a-creeping?
The banshees come a-weeping?
The skeletons a-leaping?
What do you do when the Grim Reaper comes peeking?
Peeking in your bedroom window?
What do you do when the axmen come a-lopping?
The riflemen a-shotting?
The executioner a-chopping?
What do you do when the Grim Reaper comes knocking?
Knocking on your bedroom door?
What do puppet masters do when puppets disobey?
What do highwaymen do what dead victims demand pay?
What do traitors do, finding they’ve been stabbed in the back?
And kidnappers who’ve been stuffed in their sack?
What do you do when the old sphinx comes a-hinting?
The evil eye a-squinting?
The deathlist’s started printing.
What do you do when you see the knife blade glinting?
And realize you be sleeping (insert distant screams here) fore-ver-more?
Hahaha! I love it! I have the same problem with being a creeper too!. I wrote an entire story from the point of a serial killer and when I was finally done realized that I would probably be put in an insane asylum if I posted it. Cool song but just read it slowly because there are a couple spots that get a little confusing.
ReplyDeleteOh, sorry. There were supposed to be some spaces in there. It probably would have been easier to read if blogger had put those there like I told it to.
ReplyDeleteYou kind of made me interested in your story you wrote in the author's note, but I know how it is when you don't like something you wrote. Your song was really creative and had really good symbolism. It just got kind of old because every line was a question, but I guess a lot of songs are like that. Nice job.
ReplyDeleteOkay now I kind of want to read the story that that song was about. Anyway it was really interesting and creative, and I am glad you said it was a song in the author's note otherwise I would have been confused. I agree with Natalie though, you should edit it so that every line isn't a question. Cool idea.
ReplyDeleteI thought this was really good and I liked how it rhymed but like you said it is kind of creepy. Like Claire and Natalie said, you could maybe edit out some of the questions so it isn't like that on every line.
ReplyDeleteWow! This what an interesting piece! At first when this caught my eye I thought to myself,, "why on Earth would something like this be written?" The more I kept reading it in my head and playing it over and over I realized how amazing the rhyme is. I'm very interested in the original story.
ReplyDeleteThanks guys. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd about the question thing, I know putting a bunch of questions n a row will get kind of old after a while, but there was a reason for that that made much more sense when you know the story. The guy who sings this in the story is a crazy puppet and this is the song he sings when he goes crazy. He goes crazy because his mistress, as in the person who built him, was an all around horrible person who liked to toture him and finally, he'd had enough. He sang this song before he killed her. It's supposed to be his way of saying that she'd had her fun, but what was she going to do when the last thing she thought possible happened and he got his revenge? Or something like that. Also, there is one error you guys have in stating that the song being made up completely of questions makes the song too repetitive. There is one line that isn't a question. XP
I like how this sounds like Edgar Allen Poe. You use repetition of sounds and lines just like he does, with the same results.
ReplyDeleteI really liked how each line was a question. It added to the rhythm of the song. Also I agree that I want to read the story this went with after reading this! Good job!
ReplyDeleteThe rhythm of this poem flows so well that it really sets itself apart. I personally am a fan of some creepy stuff so I thoroughly enjoyed this.
ReplyDeleteWell, I guess I could post some of the story after I've re-written it. Think is, I never finished it, or gave it a beginning. The whole thing was actually just a bunch of bits and pieces I wrote down and strung together in my mind. ^^;
ReplyDeleteI really liked your piece. It seemed really imaginative which really added to the piece. I have to agree with Mr. Johnson too. It does sound like Edgar Allen Poe's writing. I also have to agree with Derek though too. It got a little confusing at some point because of probably just typos. I really liked the into too. The author's note I mean. It really gave me a good background. I wouldn't have known what the story was about otherwise and it would have been really confusing. It was a really good piece. Nice Job!
ReplyDeleteI liked the way you wrote this poem, and thought it was a fun thing to write about you could of gone a long way with this poem.
ReplyDelete